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I am 23, a woman, a student about to join the men's club of corporate business... My partner and I are dealing with some feminist issues we recently became conscious of. Although I have always been a strong woman, and politically aware, the issue of pornography had not really impacted me. I found some magazines of my partner's. I was appalled. He was ashamed. Now we are trying to gain back some trust and respect. We are reading together. Although Dworkin is empowering and some of the other books are enlightening, we are still struggling (I think ) to totally relate 1) he with me 2) I with him and 3) us with the literature. I realize that this is not a counseling service, but truly, reading your page and knowing that some real men are aware, and active regarding feminist issues gives me hope to go on. I am feeling some grief for the men I encounter who might say I need to "relax". I believe that once you become aware of the issues, it's hard to, or rather impossible to turn it off. Anyway if you have suggestions for my partner and I, I'd appreciate it dearly. Again, I am glad you exist. (Jordan/Laurette)

I really liked your note, because I have similar feelings. I've been lucky to be able to avoid pornography. I've never watched graphic porn nor have I seen not-so-graphic porn. Gloria Steinem wrote a great article that you should check out - "Erotica vs. Pornography". It is in her book Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions. She does a great job of drawing distinctions. Also, there is a great article in Rebecca Walker's anthology - To Be Real. The article is "Getting Off On Feminism" by Jason Schultz. He again does a great job of talking about the distinctions. Jason also does lots of work around these issues. Good luck to both of you. It is a very difficult issue, but hopefully love can withstand it.

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