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I am a true feminist in every sense of the word. I am getting married and I wanted to find out what the significance of the veil is? Believe me I still have issues with wearing a ring on my finger! I also wanted to know why it is that we ask for the mother's maiden name, and why we call it maiden. I don't think we ever ask for the father's maiden name? Please respond. - Rebecca

Thanks for your note to FEMINIST.COM, which gave me even further incentive to pursue my next book idea-- a friends guide to friends' weddings. In a wedding context I'm not sure of the tradition of the veil--except that women are to save themselves for their husband's eyes only. It's also seem as a "protection" for women. As for the maiden name--true that it's a sexist practice. And as for the ring--maybe you could wear it on a different finger so it was not an indication of marriage, but of your unique bond. I heard a great story about married couples in Germany. They wear their engagment ring on the ring finger of their left hand and the wedding band on the ring finger of their right hand. The reason being that the engagement ring goes straight to the heart--since that is an emotion decision. The wedding ring goes to the head since it's a more practical decision.

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