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Hi, My name is Amy. I've been to your site a few times and think it is great. I'm a 14 year old girl from Australia. I am a number one feminist like my mum but I can't stand the sexist things on TV I mean women are treated like sex objects and not human beings. It makes me really angry. My brother is 16 and I hate the things he says about women and the comments he makes. He says that all women are the same and they don't like sports. He always comments on the way women look on TV but never the men. He also laughs at sexist jokes and has half naked pictures of blonde women on his computer. He certainly lives up to the macho male image. In my 14 years of existance I have found that men are extremely sexist and am yet to find one who isn't. The fact is that I hate men everytime I see one I get so angry but my dad isn't very sexist at all. How are we expected to have relationships or marriage with men when they think they're better than us. What can I do? Amy

Thanks for your note to FEMINIST.COM -and I'm so sorry that you don't have nicer men in your life. Before--and especially after--reading your email, I considered myself both lucky, but also normal, for having so many men in my life who seem to be feminists at heart. Most of them were raised by feminist mothers, so they had lots of good influences.

However, as I get older and life's responsiblities take a different turn, I'm beginning to see more sexism set-in. For instance, when friends have babies, it's the women talking about whether she can work and raise her child. And the father says stuff like "my role is just to support the mother"--rather than making himself an equal partner. So, in many instances, sexism does set-in - just a little later.

Maybe in your life, you will see the reverse--as more time passes they will get less sexist. A stumbling block could be that in many instances, people don't even realize that they are being sexist or rude. It takes people like you and I to point it out to them. In other instances, people know exactly what they are doing, but often don't understand how hurtful it is. On these occasions, it's important to try to put them in a situation where they would be laughed at and see how it feels. For instance, a friend once told me that she was meeting her brother, who is gay, at a bar with some of her friends. She asked him if he could "not look so gay." I said to her, the next time you come to my place can you try to not look so Jewish? I think she got the point.

I hope this is incentive to educate the men in your life to be better people and also hopeful encouragement that good men to exist


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