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I am a young feminist activist with, I feel, not a lot of everday real-life power. One situation I am ashamed to admit is my now-ex boyfriend has admitted to watching over 50 pornographic videos claiming that they are "funny" and refuses to stop. He is also unfortuantely a Christian. I am non religious, I just wanted to show the already known hypocrisy there. Anyway, I am writing him a farewell letter and wanted to know the single best essay you can think of to enlighten a man on pornograpy. I just got fininshed reading Alice Walker's womanist approach and being "white" I don't feel her references would work for me though it was a powerful essay. Please help the many of us in this situation.

Thanks for your note to FEMINIST.COM--and I'm sorry that you have had to deal with your ex-boyfriend's hypocrisy. I, like you, am non-religious or maybe I'm multi-religious--so even though I don't buy into the religious party lines, I think you should remind him that he is a sinner for indulging in pornography. Since that probably won't go too far, I suggest Diana Russell's book Against Pornography, which has the most repulsive photos of pornography and underscores it's subjectification of women and it's potential danger. (You can order it c/o Russell Publications, 2018 Shattuck #118, Berkeley, CA 94704. She also has another book--Making Violence Sexy.) Another thought is Gloria Steinem's article "Erotica v. Pornography," which can be found in her book Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions (available at the FEMINIST.COM Bookstore).

I hope that helps to persuad him that his laughs are often at the expense of someone else. Thanks for taking the time to point that out to him. Good luck.


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