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I am a first time writter. A while ago I fell "in love" with a guy I thought was perfect for me. He was handsome, gentlemanlike, fond of me, and funny. Sounds great huh? Yet after 2 months he seemed to not be so interested. When I asked him what was wrong he said that he didn't want to be tied down. I asked him if that meant he wanted to date around. He said no and it is true - he still isn't going out with another girl. However, I was very hurt by the break up because I really trusted him. Now I have been with a new guy for a month and I find it very hard to trust him or to let myself "fall in love" with him. How can I gain his trust and get over guy #1? Please help! From, Untrustful in Texas

Thanks for your note and I'm sorry to hear that you are having relationship problems. Because I don't know you or guy #1 or guy #2, I don't think that I can give the best advice. From what you have said, however, I can say that you need to move past guy #1. You said that you thought he was "perfect for you." In reality, he wasn't. The guy who will be perfect for you is the one that won't look at your relationship as being "tied down," but will be excited about being in a relationship with someone as special as you. So don't let yourself think that he was the right-one. When you do find the right one--he may be "handsome, gentlemanlike, fond of [you], and funny," but he will also be excited about being with you and will look beyond any "time committment" and look at your relationship as a natural progression in life. So that said, I think that you should begin with guy #2. However, if you already don't trust him than that may be a problem. Before you write-him off, make sure that the reasons you don't trust him have to do with him and not solely left-over feelings from "guy #1"--i.e. projecting. In reality, you may have yet to meet the perfect guy for you. Assuming you are a wonderful, special, deserving person, which I assume you are, than don't settle for anything less than that. Good luck and I hope this helps at least a little.


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