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Dear Amy,

My husband has had a long time fetish (as it called) about women's clothing and cosmetics. We have discussed this with each other several times, and he assures me that he is not gay or anything, but that he just feels much less stressed and it is a way for him to relax. He doesn't do this for sexual benefits or arousal.

I do have to admit that it is really quite nice the way he is able to associate with my feelings much better than most males can. The problem I am having trouble coping with is that he likes to wear foundation quite openly and tells me it is because he likes the way it makes him look. Is this normal, or is he just more feminine than he should be? Should I be concerned about it? He hasn't been unfaithful, and sexually he is very, very good.

Can you help please?

Thank you,




Dear Michelle,

I am certainly not an expert on this issue -- not sure what the precise issue is -- but I do know from the experience of others, that it could be nothing or perhaps he could be exploring transgenderism -- which actually has nothing to do with sexuality, but with gender itself.

I suggest you read Noelle Howey's book Dress Codes, where she discovers her father doing this and what it all leads to.

Good luck,


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