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My "male feminist friend", who used to be more than a friend, metaphorically told me that he needed to soar with other birds and that I was building a cage for him. Is the temptation of women and need to pursue them truly a love for women? As a man, does "sowing your wild oats" show a love or a disdain for women (even if it is one woman at a time)? Here is a quote from Tiger on the MS boards: "I LOVE women" - how often have I heard that come out of a misogynist's mouth, and he truly believes it. Especially in a culture that purports to celebrate female beauty.

Thanks in advance for your opinion,


Dear Lynn,

I think that a man can be a "player" -- as in sleep with lots of women -- and not necessarily be a misogynist. It's all a matter of expectations, for instance, if the women are just sleeping with him. The problem is entirely in intent - for instance, if his intent is to use/manipulate her without any consideration for her -- then he is being sexist. There are women who engage in this same behavior--and they are equally guilty of being sexist. However, the act of "sleeping around" isn't what makes someone sexist, it's the motivation and the intent.

I hope that's clear,

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