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Please help. Anybody. If you can.

I live in the Cleveland, OH area, and I have had one hell of a time finding a men's group, a pro-feminist group that I can get in contact with.

Unfortunately, feminism is a thing to avoid around here for most people, and there are a lot of people with ugly attitudes around here. I would like to find someone I can talk to about HOW I can effectively educate men, like my boyfriend, about their misogynistic attitudes, and have it sink in a little. I can rant and rave about the bad stuff, but what I really want is powerful ways to say things that really make a difference... everything I've tried so far has led to people making excuses. "oh she's been treated badly, she is just a man-hater." The same people will admit I'm more fair to men, and more considerate, but then... well, you know. if you have any resources, or know of a group that can help, that would accept e-mail... anything, I would really appreciate it. thank you so much for your help



Olivia --

Thanks for reaching out to Feminist.com. I have actually found that men are as open to feminism as women are if you find a way to connect it to their lives.

Historically, men were asked to participate in feminism for the benefit of women -- however, the larger purpose should be to include men because feminism benefits them, too -- in their relationships, their families, their jobs, their safety, etc... Also, there is a certainly confusion about whether feminism is attacking men specifically or male culture/privilege more generally. It's the latter, but certainly gets interpreted as the former -- so I think that feminism needs to disentangle that. I think that you should just bring men along to things that you care about and talk to them the same way that you talk to women -- for instance, do they feel insecure about their back hair or their balding? Do they get nervous about how to act appropriately in relationships, etc...?

Most men want to do the "right" thing, -- they just need some guidance on what that is. As for specific groups, I don't know of anything in the Ohio area, but if there is one, my instinct is that one of the national men's groups like MVP and Emerge would know about it.

Good luck,

-- Amy