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Violence

Hello,

I am 15 yrs. old and I live with my sister and brother-in-law. Recently we had a a snow day at school, and while I was home, my brother-in-law touched me in some bad places. I don't want to hurt anyone but I have to tell, how do I tell my sister and puish him with out tearing apart our family? And with out ruining my family's reputation. I am afraid that they are going to kick me out if I tell.

Please help me,

-Jane

 

   

Dear Jane,

I think it's so good that you are addressing this issue as close to the time it happened as possible. I literally received another note from a girl who had experienced exactly what you are experiencing and she didn't speak up for three years.

Her mother was so sad that she waited this long and in those
intervening three years, the girl just continued to blame herself. Given her experience and what I know from other experiences like yours, it is better to speak up early, this helps you to deal with it and others around you. This also helps you to realize that you did nothing wrong and did nothing to deserve to be treated this way. I think that you owe it to your sister to tell her and she owes it to you to listen -- that's at a minimum. There is no guarantee
of what she will do. Will she take his word against yours? Will she blame you? Will she want to protect you? These are all possibilities -- but what is certain is that nothing will change unless you say something and I'm certain that even though it's not what your sister wants to know -- not knowing is more painful.

I hope that you can find a way to talk through this with her and she can help you find a way to deal with this.

Take care of yourself,

— Amy

 

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