home what'snew resources ask amy news activism antiviolence events marketplace aboutus
Ask a Question!
Meet Amy!
Amy's Resource Guide
Ask Amy Main
TOPICS
Feminism
Girls/Children
Health
International
Media
Miscellaneous
Most Asked Questions
Politics
Reproductive Rights
Sexual Harassment
Violence Against Women
Women's History
Work/Career
   
 


 
Violence

I am a fifteen-year-old boy with a drunk for a father, and a deceased mother.

My sister has been viciously hurt the last few months. Recently, I've been taking his beatings to save her the torture. I snuck into her room a few days ago, and snuck a peek at her diary. It said she was contemplating suicide. I'm worried about her. I've defended her against bullies and junk like that, but I'm kind of worried she'll do it when I can't do anything about it.

What should I do? I've never been able to tell her not to do something, I'm a real pushover. I'm worried about my sister. I am so worried about her that since that day, I've not been able to look at her without being able to think of her gravestone saying: 1989-2004.

Tell me, Amy, what should I do?

Thank you, Anthony

 

 

Dear Anthony --

It sounds like your sister is very lucky to have you as a brother.

My instinct is that you just talk to her -- you don't necessarily have to confess that you read her diary, but perhaps just give some indication that you are worried about her and that you understand your situation. The hardest part about her situation is that she has probably begun to internalize some of this abuse and might believe that she did something to deserve it or doesn't deserve better -- that could be interrupted by your believing in her or confiding in her.

Also, is there another adult whom she could go live with -- for her to escape this? Also, I think that you should report this abuse to the police. I understand that might make you further vulnerable, but they can't do anything unless there is some documentation and this way you can begin to build a case. Also, this might mean that he has to leave, not you two.

I hope that helps -- and I certainly recognize that you are in an extremely difficult situation. You and your sister are inevitable close and I think that she would interpret your talking to her as a reflection of that and a need.

Good luck and take care,

- Amy

home | what's new | resources | ask amy | news | activism | anti-violence
events | marketplace | about us | e-mail us | join our mailing list

©1995-2002 Feminist.com All rights reserved.