am a 31 year-old woman and an ex-prostitute/stripper/masseuse.
I have also lived on my own since I was 13 years-old.
I have always survived off my looks, and, after
becoming a topless dancer at the age of 14, I
am not sure how to not be seen as a sex object.
I quit dancing at age 27 and found myself waitressing
and not really able to do anything else while
paying my bills. So, at 28 I became an escort
in Los Angeles. It seemed to me that men, as long
as I can remember, have only wanted sex from me.
So I rationalized it to myself by saying, "at
least this way I feel like I am getting something
from the relationship."
have been trying to quit over the last 3 months
and have been looking for a normal job. I have
found this almost impossible to do because either
I am not qualified or the man that owns the company
(or works there) was a client. Lately every man
I know says the same thing to me, "you are so
pretty and talented you must not be looking hard
enough. But you will still see me as a client
it looks like I have no other choice if I want
to keep a roof over my head. Unfortunately for
me, when I quit working, the man I worked for
got very upset and has blacklisted me so I can't
work even if I wanted too. He is a very powerful
attorney and so were most of my clients. It is
a very strange "boys" club and they are all married.
They have also made it abundantly clear that they
know where I live, that I don't own a car and
must walk to the train or bus, and no one would
believe me anyhow. I'm sorry to have gone on so
long but I don't know what to do.
realize how few resources there are for people
who are at that middle place. Resources tend to
be there for the extreme cases, but not the middle
of the road. You're not poor enough to get government
resources and you haven't been completely brutalized
. Anyway, your note again reminded me of those
note also reminded me of a group that I had just
learned about - Girls Educational & Mentoring
Services (GEMS). It's based in New York City and
it's founder, Rachel Lloyd, was a prostitute.
She turned her life around and wanted to help
others to do the same so she created a program
to help sex workers pursue other professions.
It's a great model for a program - but like I
said above, I think that her focus is women/girls
who are poor and turn to prostitution because
it's the only way out of their community or to
fund their drug problem. Nonetheless, I think
you might want to learn more about her program.
It's likely to give you some suggestions.
I think there is a way for you to recast your
skills to make your resume applicable to jobs
that you want to pursue. I always think that temporary
agencies - like Manpower - are a good place to
start. They give you some experience and expose
you to different workplaces, employers. Also,
you need to think about what exactly you want
to do - do you want to work in advertising? For
a law firm? There is so much out there. This is
going to make a difference to an employer. They
want to make sure that any potential employee
is committed to this particular profession. I
hope that helps and I'd be happy to make more
specific suggestions once you have a better sense
of what you want to do next.