Hello. My name is Lola and I've often used your website for various research projects and just to get informed. I recently finished research on Title IX and equity in sports for high school girls. This site helped me out greatly. I am now starting to do research on weddings and marriage rituals in various countries. I was wondering if you have any good links or resources you could recommend for where to get some information in the more discreet topics of marriage. For instance, I am interested in finding out more about the wedding quilts used in both Mexican and Russian cultures. I know a bit about FGM and some of the wedding night horrors that go on due to that practice. My project is to eventually make a quilt depicting many of the wedding traditions our society ignores. Unfortunately it is very hard to find resources to even begin with. If you could offer any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Lola

Thanks for your note to FEMINIST.COM--and for being a "regular" visitor to our site. I'm glad we've been able to help.

I'm very intriqued by your latest topic--weddings---as I have this desire to write a book called something to the effect of "A Friend's Guide to Friends' Weddings." This idea came about because in the past four years, I have been to no less than 35 weddings. Each very different from the next and from each one I learn something totally different. But through this process and through the process of being a bridesmaid on seven occassions, I have discovered that while the bride and groom becoming overly informed on what is expected of them--their friends have no idea what is expected of them not to mention how to respond accordingly. Anyway, given this idea, I have come across some things that might help with your reseach.

For instance, there are a few books:

• "The New Jewish Wedding" by Anita Diamant (Fireside Press).
• "Wild Geese and Tea: An Asian American Wedding Planner" by Shu Shu Costa--which includes customs within Chinese, Japanese and Korean weddings.
• "Jumping the Broom" by Harriette Cole--which focuses on African-American weddings.

You might search Amazon.com for the above titles.

Also, I remember a friend talking about the idea of a documentary film that profiled weddings and wedding rituals around the world. However, I can't remember if this was her idea--which she has yet to execute--or if it was someone else's documentary that was being executed. I've written to my friend in the hopes that if it's the latter she will be able to refer you do it. And if it's the former, you'll have to wait a few years.

I hope that helps and good luck with your project - Amy

P.S.: Last week I mentioned a possible film, well, my friend remembered it--and here is the information. I hope that helps, too.

Dear Amy:

There was a filmmaker doing wedding rituals around world, I remember the proposal when I was at Non Fiction Films. I went thru my NFF rolodex and I think it was Patricia Foulkrod. She can try calling her and see whatever happened with the project, I know she was looking for $$$ when I spoke with her last in Summer 97 -- I have that it was called "The Love Project". I think it was Love and Marriage around the world.

I just went thru my files and found the proposal. It's six hours on Love, Chemistry of Love, Love and Religion, Women and Love, Arranged Marriages and Rituals of Love and Marriage. Would you like me to send you a copy of the proposal or tell Lola to email me directly with her address and I'll send it to her.

Hope that helps, you have a GREAT memory.

GMJ