for your note to FEMINIST.COM.
As for naming children--in my
experience everyone does something
different. For instance, one
couple gave the baby her family
name--because she is Indian
and he is anglo. Because the
baby was 1/2 Indian they wanted
to give the baby some ethnic
identity. I have another friend
who gave the baby her last name--because
her husband's last name is his
father's last name and he hates
his father. She's really close
to her father and mother. I
know of lots of other couples
who named the baby his last
name. I know a few who have
made up a mutual last name and
I know many who have hyphenated.
I personally don't know what
I will do. I have my mother's
last name--when I was born I
was given my father's name because
his name was on my birth certificate.
However, I don't know my father,
so when I was six I went to
court and changed my last name
to my mother's last name. For
that reason--and purely because
I'm invested in my name I personally
will never change my name. Until
recently I was adamant that
my kids would have my name.
However, my boyfriend's last
name is Garcia and given the
scenario I laid out above, maybe
they should have his last name
given the ethnic connection.
I just don't know. My advice
is to think about -- and even
if you choose to give your child
your husband's last name--it
will be a choice and not a must.
Good luck and congrats on the