Dear Amy,

This is a minor issue compared with all the other injustices against women, but I was wondering if there was any active effort to make all the paperwork related to home-financing more gender equal. My husband and I are in the process of closing on our third home loan during our married life, and I continually get disgruntled that his name is placed first on all the papers we sign. It has nothing to do with alphabetical ordering of names or income levels (which would all logically put my name first), it's merely because he's the male head of the household. At our most recent closing, we were asked to provide a copy of our marriage certificate because my last name is different than his. When I asked, they indicated we would not have to provide the marriage certificate if our last names were the same.

Any insight?

Julie

Dear Julie,

I think that all injustices are a part of the same puzzle. So yes, some pieces seem more crucial, but all need to be overcome in order to achieve greater gender parity. One woman isn't equal until all women are equal - and similarly one issue isn't resolved without others being resolved, too. The reason that the home-financing loans haven't been equalized, perhaps, is because people don't realize that it happens and don't realize that they have the power to change things.

The way to create change is to name the problem and to educate others about the problem, then to educate yourself on how to go about changing it. This usually requires going right the source - asking the bank how this happened and what you could do to change it. It's happened before with similar things, so I have faith that it can happen again.

Good luck.

Amy