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Amy,

My problem is this - I am very "traditional" girly and proud of - it makes me feel icky seeing those girls that go to Prom or such in a pants suit - and lots of others girls make me feel like some sort of criminal for being more comftable in a golden top and blue skirt then I would in a blue t-shirt and cream coloured pants :( Im tired of getting picked on and stuffed into lockers by the other kids at school and grown ups picking on me too. my mother died from cancer a few years ago and its useless talking to dad about "girl things". I just dont know why girls like me who like wearing dresses and skirts sometimes get picked on so much - its not being anti-girl to wear them is it? also I feel I stand out more from the boys and in this day and age am more unique if I'm in a nice dress or a nice top and skirt than if I was in jeans or a pantsuit.

I know people keep saying how great it is that girls and women can have a choice to wear pants now instead of being stuck with dresses and skirts but at least dresses and skirts were pretty much unique to females - now they have all but disappeared in daily life and are close to it in professional situations.

I kind of wish someone would fight to give dresses and skirts "equal rights" with tops and pants but I have a sad feeling that will never happen - maybe if what I call "the pants people" could see beyond the narrow confines of their ideology, they would understand why it's a bad thing that dresses and skirts have pretty much vanished from female daily life.

What's your take on the issue?

Best Wishes and Hope to hear from you soon,

Andrea

 

   

Dear Andrea,

M y general philosophy is each to their own.

Personally I am a huge fan of girly things -- I wear dresses 90% of the time, I have worn the same perfume since I was 15 (I'm 33) and I love having dinner parties and doing other things around the house. And am totally flattered when someone refers to me as "Martha Stewart for My Generation."

However, I recognize this is my personal choice and would never impose this on others. I love that people dress differently -- some more butch than others.

As for your being picked on -- that certainly hasn't been my experience, so my guess is that it isn't the things you are decorating yourself with, but your attitude -- and being girly and being prissy aren't synonmous -- not that you are that way, but I know that some people thing these qualities go hand-in-hand and the latter is just annoying and others recognize it as such, too. Perhaps try considering that -- but there is certainly nothing wrong with girlie and feminist things like Bust magazine only promote more of it.

—Amy

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