To whom it may concern,
My Fiance and I are both survivors of incest.
I am having a very hard time finding places
for him to go so that he may heal.
becomes very hurt by many people assuming that
because he is a male he is the perp. In reality
he was a little boy and his sister and aunt
abused him the same way my father did myself.
He is hurting just as bad and needs somewhere
to turn so that he might realize that he is
NOT a "creep". He was a nine year
old that was taken advantage of and there is
a community of people who can both relate and
share in his need to be accepted and heal.
Please send us some links. I can not stand
to watch myself getting help and he still feels
like a "plaything". He really needs
to know he is not alone so that he might seek
the counseling that he needs. This society
and many others has a long road ahead in changing
the definition of a "man". Thank
Sadly, I know that there are few resources for
men. There use to be a great group in Oakland,
CA -- The Oakland Men's Project and a tiny
portion of what they did was to help men in
abusive situations, but I'm told they don't
exist anymore. Also, The
Courage to Heal and Judith
men as victims. It's certainly addressed within
feminist circles to the extent that men and
women are both abused and this abuse manifests
itself different in each gender -- men tend
to (though certainly not always) become abusive
and women tend to find themselves in abusive
situations. But beyond identifying this, I'm
not sure what resources exist. Certainly, if
you find something comprehensive let me know.
And it probably is obvious, but your support
of your finance probably goes further than
anything formal. What seems to make the difference
to most people is being heard and trusted and
thus earning the trust of others.
I hope that helps -- good luck to both of you,