hope you can help. I recently got married (in
the UK) and I was appalled by the fact that the
marriage certificate only asks for your father's
name. I questioned this at the time, and nearly
called the wedding off. I didn't, however, and
I'm now feeling very depressed and guilty - I
compromised my principles and let women down.
I'm ashamed. What can I do?
phoned the register office asking to have the
certificate changed, with my mother's name appended,
but they said this was impossible. Please, please
help, having this guilt as well as the constant
denial of my title, surname and even first name
by 'well meaning' (presumptuous) friends, who
incorrectly call me Mrs. M. Hicks, is intolerable.
Who can I right to get the marriage certificate
changed? I feel so strongly about this. Please
are right to be appalled. I have a friend who
got married in Bermuda and I remember her being
infuriated that her marriage certificate was the
same. It's probably one of those things that many
people are appalled by, but no one has challenged
it, because it seems like it's set in stone. The
reality is that those things won't change until
people do challenge them, so I encourage them
to do just that. For instance, it used to be that
children were automatically given their father's
name; now this is different and it changed because
people challenged it. I'm not sure how the UK
is entirely structured -- I'm based in the U.S.
and therefore, not entirely sure about how to
direct you. In the U.S., each state has different
laws governing marriage laws -- and I think that
each go through the civil courts, so one would
start there. I hope you can trace this back --
and good for you for challenging it -- I'm sure
others will thank you, too.