names Katie, I am 14 years old and bulimic.
I used to want help, but not anymore. One of
my counselors asked me if I had an eating
disorder and I told her "no," because I really
didn't think it was any of her business.
When she came and asked me she was kind of smiling
and that threw me off because I didn't think
it was funny.
None of my friends support me so
I had to lie and tell them I stopped. The truth
is that yesterday I started throwing up blood.
What should I do?
You say you don't care / you don't want help,
but you so clearly do, not only given the way
the situation has recently escalated (i.e. the
blood), but in general.
Perhaps want you mean
is that even though you acknowledge it, you still
want what it supposedly affords you? Regardless,
it's no uncommon that you would be throwing up
blood, you are essentially traumatizing your
body and that can manifest itself in many ways,
including throwing up blood. You really should
see a doctor about this -- and keep in mind that
this has both short and long term implications
-- the short term you are witnessing, but in
the long-run you can damage your body, especially
an adolescent growing body.
I hope that you can
find your way to a doctor, more than a school