Hi Amy,

My name is Erica, I am fourteen and I live in Wisconsin. I am a lesbian and there aren't any girls like that at my school. In fact a lot of people think it's weird and absurd; however I can't control my feelings and attractions towards girls and I wanted to know how/where can I find people like myself and how can I find a girlfriend? Are there any signs or gestures I should look for when searching for a girlfriend rather than a friend? Thank you for your time, I am sure your reply will be helpful.

Erica

Dear Erica,

My guess - knowing little about you and about your community - is that there are actually others like you, it's just that you don't know about each other. Based on my own experiences and those of my friends - this is a common scenario. You think you are alone until someone dares to address it - or "come out." There are also several organizations that focus on lesbian issues - and through these groups you can certainly find other people like you. For instance, in Milwaukee, WI there is the Lesbian Alliance of Metro Milwaukee, (414) 272-9442. They have events and other forums where you can certainly meet others like you. There is also a web site called queeramerica.com - which lists all of the groups in your area. There are also queer/straight alliances at many high schools across America - perhaps you can form one at your high school or find out if one already exists in your area. You can learn more about such alliances at: www.studentprideusa.org or www.bagly.org.

I hope that helps - and trust me you aren't alone. Thanks for making sure that others know that you exist. I'm sure that your honesty will help others to be honest as well.

Amy