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Dear
Darin,
Here are my answers:
(1) As a representative of the
Third Wave of Feminism, what
is youroverall view of marriage?
Does marriage generally benefit
women, or is the institution
inherently negative for women?
Society values marriage and
thus has made it both more socially
acceptable to be married and
has also provided perks to create
incentives for marriage -- such
as health care and tax breaks.
From an overall societal view
marriage does more to benefit
women -- just as it does men
-- than it does to "harm"
them.
However, society has valued
marriage to the extent that
some people stay in marriages
that aren't healthy -- and do
so, because "not being
married" or being "divorced"
in this society punishes people
-- especially women -- even
those for whom divorce is
a "life saver."
Personally, I feel very neutral
on the subject of
marriage -- as is it is a symbolic
gesture or an honoring of your
relationship by either the church
or the state -- and while I
support other people reasons
for choosing marriage, I don't
know that I would make that
same decision.
(2)
"The Feminists" declared
in 1969 that "marriage
and the family must be eliminated."
Do you share this view? Why
or Why not?
Until
society values the "unmarried"
relationships as much as it
does "married" relationships
-- including both society's
views as well as health care
and taxes -- than I think that
marriage can't be eliminated
because it would wrongly punishes
those who didn't choose it.
I think that marriage first
has to be available to all --
same sex couples -- and the
respect of marriage has to be
afforded to committed relationships
before we can consider
eliminating marriage. I think
the family should not be eliminated
but redefined.
We have done a good job of "adding"
to family -- making it about
"more than biology"
-- however, we haven't yet eliminated
biology from that definition
and, personally, I think that
family should be an emotional
bond, not a biological one.
Hopefully we will begin to consider
this in greater detail as more
people use technology to have
children.
(3)
Finally, is marriage (between
the mother and father of a child)
generally the best family structure
in which to raise children?
Studies
-- as well as my own and other
people's experiences -- have
proven that children can get
the love and support they need
from a mother or a father and
another person -- a stepparent,
an aunt/uncle, grandparent --
thus proving that as long as
the family operates as a unit,
not solely bound to the rigid
tradition of mother and father
-- that the children fare the
same as those in households
with a mother and a father.
On this, I will rely on the
studies
and will confirm it with my
own experience of being raised
by my mother and grandfather.
—Amy
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