Hi, First I want to say that this is
a great website, I come here once in while
to read various thoughts and discussions
on feminism and other topics It's great
that sites like these exist.
Here's my question: is feminism as good
for men as feminist's say?
Here's an example of why I question it:
There are many guys who have been taught
with feminist views to respect women and
not to treat them or see them as sexual
objects. Obviously respecting women and
treating them as being equal to men is
logical, and should have never been an
issue in society in the first place.
However, many guys feel that it is also
wrong to see females as sexual beings,
and in order to be polite and respectful,
they will wait for a girl to approach them
to initiate a relationship or sex. From
what I've seen and witnessed (I'm 28 by
the way), regardless of what people like
to believe, girls rarely approach guys
when it comes to sex and relationships.
This leaves many of these guys alone for
years because they believe that they're
disrespecting females if they approach
them with sex and relationships on their
minds. They don't want to be seen as sexually
harassing them, or too sexually aggressive,
so they wait, and end up alone in the process
and wondering why.
Furthermore, Feminism, from what I've seen,
shows men to see women as equals. However,
it doesn't seem to show men and women the
similarities and differences between each
other and how to explore each other sexually/intimately,and
relationship-wise so that both have more
of an equal understanding of each other.
Feminism doesn't seem to show men and women
how to love each other equally. Instead,
feminism shows women they can do what men
can do,and it shows men to respect women
and embrace femininity on to themselves,but
it doesn't seem to really bring men and
women together. It bothers me that even
though feminism preaches equality of the
sexes,it doesn't seem to get the sexes
to really understand each other.
Society is full of women who don't really
understand men and what they go through
in life, and vice versa. I've met many
educated women, (some feminists) who claim
they understand men and know what they're
all about but they really only have biased
beliefs about them, and vice versa. And
so what we have in society is a bunch of
people believing in nonsense about the
opposite sex. And that nonsense many times
separates some men and women indefinitely.
There can be no real equality until both
sexes truly understand each other, and
I think feminism, since it's for equality,
has some responsibility with that. I've
read how feminism talks a lot about relationships
and understandings with lesbianism, but
rarely have I've seen that about heterosexuality.
And I'm not just talking about love between
men and women, but also friendships, or
work buddy relationships, etc. What are
Sorry if this is a bit
of a ramble.
Thanks for reading!
Feminism isn't generally about men and
women becoming one, but recognizing that
men and women are capable of different
things, not based on their gender, but
based on how they are individually. When
it comes to sexual relationships, for instance,
some women are inherently more aggressive
or more willing to take initiative than
men, and of course, some men have natural
instincts in this direction. It's really
about the individual, not the gender.
some men feel pressure to act sexually
aggressive, though that's not their natural
instinct and women give in to being sexually
vulnerable or vague when they actually
have alternative desires. The point isn't
that we behave the same way, but that
we are allowed to behave in a way that
is more natural or unique to us as individuals.
Of course, with that will come more mutual
understanding of what both partners want.
I hope that helps to clarify.